Friday, September 7, 2007

That blog that drives me crazy...

I love reading blogs. Especially ones about tango. There is one blog that drives me crazy though, ok maybe there are about 3 that kind of rub me the wrong way, or give me this feeling when the teacher used to drag their nails across the blackboard. But there is one particular blog that drives me crazy. The arrogance, the judgemental thoughts, the self congratulatory remarks.. Enough already!!! I hate the content of the blog and yet I cannot stop reading it. What the hell is wrong with me. It is almost like I like torturing myself reading this blog!
People write blogs for many different reasons. I write it as an expressive outlet of my thoughts, my pain, happiness, most of it which, most of the time, relates to tango. I enjoy reading other blogs that make me laugh, think, put me in a melancholic mood, express feelings which I cannot put into words so eloquently.
But here are a few things I hate in blogs:
1. Overanalyzing. I hate this! I absolutely hate it. Because tango is organic to me. It is natural. So was my learning process. I learn many things this way, including languages. I hate overanalysis. It kills the spirit of it. And there are certain people that overanalyze everything, not just tango. They overanalyze their relationships, their work. Its almost like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Or something like that. How can you be relaxed, how can I trust you as a leader, or a follower that I have your full attention, when I know that you are tearing the experience we are sharing into pieces in your mind? Let me stay as a whole. Let this tanda be a whole experience, non-repeatable but memorable, with its goods and bads. In a relationship its the same. I need you to understand me not shred me into pieces. If you do that you might tnever be able to put me back together. And I cannot function in million pieces.

2. Self-congragulating: Ok, I have no illusions about the fact that there are a lot of type A's out there in tango, and in life. I am one of them. But what I hate is that a lot of people pretend like they are tango Gods or Goddesses. Just because you are obsessed with it does not mean you are a pro. Just because you overanalyze does not mean you actually get it. Somethings you might and somethings you might not get. And that is ok. I don't want a perfect leader. I do not want to be a perfect follower. I want expressiveness without putting on a show, I want sweetness without stickiness, I want lightness but with presence. I want attention without harrassment. Our mistakes? ppfhhh! I do not care. I simply do not! The best dancers, bloggers, in my opinion are those that have humility. beginner or advanced. Those are my favorite. The beginners with humility (in dance and in blogging) are aware of their inexperience, and they show they want to learn. That is sweet and makes me want to dance with them. Advanced dancers with humility show me that they do not need to hide behind their ego to prove themsemlves. Their dance speaks for it self.

There are a lot of other things. I can talk about. But I will not.
Instead I want to write things that I like in blogging and in tango:
1. Show of character: There is such a thin line between character and ego. I love a strong character. I like opinionated people. I am, personally not a timid person my self. But I like a character that is self secure. A character that can regocnize its shortcomings, that pushes its potential without denying their limits. I like a character that are secure even with what they cannot do. I love bloggers like this. Because it make them human and I have a lot of admiration and respect for them. And dancers? dancers alike...

2. Sense of humor and irony. I love dancers and bloggers who can laugh at themselves and at me. But without being judgemental. A simple giggle at a mistake that our dance produces puts me at easee that they are happy to go on, and makes me a better dancer in their arms. A simple funny post makes me giggle infront of my computer, and makes me want to come back to that blog more times than I would like to admit.

3. Sence of melancholy: This is what I also love. it gives me the impression that the person who is dancing/ writing is a soul that travels in time. Someone that belongs to now, but also to a past that was beautiful, tearful. The time of Carlos Gardel...I sense this and it inspires me so much to read more, and to dance better.

So my fellow bloggers and tangueros, this is my 2 cents. I read your blogs, I watch you dance, and sometimes without you knowing I might even have danced with you, or maybe I will in the future. These are my observations. This is why tango is such an intense experience, with its good and its bad.


  1. Dear Danzarin,

    So wise... as I said before, so good to have you back. I so whole- heartedly agree on all you have to say. I also find 2-3 blogs out there (both from male and female bloggers) that are a bit too self-congratulatory: "I dance with X, Y and Z, oh my God, I'm getting so good" or "I'm really improving that back sacada with a double twist in my spine to then lead a quintuple gancho while stepping on the toe first".




    It disgusts me, because the more and more I progress in this road of learning Tango, the more aware I become of how long the road is, and how much more there is still left. If nothing else, it makes me more aware of how little I still know... and while one should, of course, celebrate one's achievements, there is a thing such as self aggrandizing writing. Regardless of the true dance level of the writer, the lack of humbleness really demerits the person to me...

    Incidentally, just yesterday I was talking to a good friend, commenting on some local dancers, relatively new (1-2 years under their belts) that have started teaching in the area. They actually circulated their "bios" around... it's just so funny and pathetic, how they have to fill those in with thin air--their "wit", their "creativity" that is recognized by all--, since they don't have any hard facts to present in their 'tango-resumes'. It's a bit of the same phenomenon, I think...

    I guess it's unavoidable, and perhaps it's just human nature, but I don't cease to be amazed by all of this every single time...

  2. Wow. This is a great post--I am nodding in agreement with you as I read this. I follow that same blog you do (it's got to be the same one!), and it's like I can't help myself. Thank you for putting into perpective what really matters about this dance we have come to love so strongly.

    Looking forward to more of your posts!

  3. la tanguera and tangobaby, thanks for you nice comments. Reading your blogs inspire me and they are the sort of blogs that I love to read. I am glad what I wrote resonates with you. I am glad there are tangueras and hopefully tangueros that agree. I really wrote this post with much feeling and thought and I am glad that it you liked it.

  4. i think i know which one you're talking about... i've stopped reading that one because it was making me crazy.

    your thoughts on character vs. ego hit the nail on the head! and your words on melancholy are beautiful...

    here's to feeling and depth, passion and modesty!


  5. Wow, looks like a lot of us are on the same train of thought lately!
    Very well put.

  6. Another thank you for saying what has been on my mind. Ever since I started reading that blog I have been unable to dance with its writer. Knowing what he is thinking, that he is not in the experience as I try to be, but analyzing and criticizing, has taken the pleasure and soul out of it for me.

  7. Yes Danzarin,

    First, I like your blog, your mind, your words. My first thought when I read the guy's latest post was: "Well, he certainly is not a humble man..." Sad really. I liked (or disliked/noted) that the only two reasons he could come up with for his students not getting the material is that either 1] they just couldn't get it...or 2] they were not ready to get it... It didn't even cross his mind that he might not be teaching it... and need to adjust his teaching/approach...

  8. Me more thing I have to get off my chest...I looked up the class schedule for the community where he was teaching...and here are a couple of the class titles...

    "Looking Good as a Beginner" and

    "Fool-proof Choreography for Beginners"

    Sounds like he really does know what he's doing...(tongue in cheek of course...)

  9. I agree with you! I was thinking of making some rules for my own blog life, as well as some rules to guide me towards the best reads. Any ideas out there? I think the self congratulations people are just dull. Give us something to think about people! Make us laugh? Give us tips for travel, dance, life. Inspire us, inform us, don't whine (this is a big one.)....what else?

  10. Oh, it's so complicated. I enjoy dancing with him, but each time I have to check the blog, anxiously, to see what he's said. Ack. The characteristics you describe aren't limited to that one blog, I'm afraid...

  11. red shoes.. in my post I mentioned a number of blogs. Yes there is a particular blog as well, but my aim was to talk about things that I do not like in general, with the awareness that it is not about one blog, its like personalities, although every personality is unique, there are some traits that are common to some people. I was trying to address those traits with respect to blogs. If you read closely, I wrote "things I hate in blogs" in plural, that was for a reason, because I am aware of the fact that these are traits that many blogs can and do have.

  12. Perhaps if one overanalyzes, as in Tango, perhaps they really don´t get it.

    Steps are steps, but real Tango is ephemeral magic, not a set of trucos (tricks)!

    Real magic, simply can not ever be explained.

  13. GREAT post! I, too, was driven around the bend by the one particular blog but for some peculiar reason kept reading it periodically (perhaps it's 'car wreck' curiousity). I have since removed that blog from my bookmarked pages and have vowed never to look at it again. I refuse to be counted in his stats and considered that I'm actually a 'fan.'

    I'm a newbie to tango and it's those sorts of ego and self-congratulatory comments that make me wonder whether I've made a mistake -- I've thought "Are they all like that?" But then I read other insightful and thoughtful blogs like yours and it confirms that I'm on the right path, doing the right thing. Thank you for sharing. I just wish I was as eloquent! I sure hope there are more people like you than the other type.