So this is something like chemistry. or even alchemy.. Taking two people, making the experience into something golden. To beginners connection is mostly trying to keep the distance between you and your partner constant, so that you do not have the pulling pushing feeling. Moving as one.. But is seems strictly mechanical, at least when we are first learning to dance. And then there is the process of learning to dance well. It requires us to open all channels of communication to our partner, and be as receptive as possible. That is when the whole experience becomes intimate. We open all our senses, sense of touch, smell, hearing, except maybe to enhance other senses we close our eyes. Followers listen to the lead intently, leaders become fully aware of followers' attitude, mood, wishes. Then we move as one. and then the floor appears with many couples, and we connect with them.. except if there are couples that do not have a good connection with each other, it also means they do not have good connection with the rest of us... oh well.
This great connection is like what is at the end of the rainbow... a pot of gold.. or your favorite dance partner:) Not all of us get there, and not all the time.. You see these channels of communication, these senses, they are capricious things.. Throughout the day, life tries to make us numb, and then we try to feel again.Sometimes it does not work.. In such cases, the best thing for me is to cut my losses and enjoy the social atmosphere of the milonga.