Just like in real life. Some nights you are off. You try to connect, but no. You misunderstand the lead, but why? Either you are listening only to hear what you want to hear, or you are not hearing at all. Sometimes, my head is filled with feedback noise, my worries are too loud, my heart pounds too heavily, my thoughts are alive like ghosts of smoke circling around us when we are dancing. I can see them, and they distract me, but he does not see them. So he probably wonders...
Sometimes what you want to hear is that everything is going to be alright... And there is an exact tango translation of that. It feels like a safe harbour, a quite understanding, a calm and reassuring step, a warm embrace. Can he hear my palpitations and respond, or is it just a coincidence that he wants to dance the way I need him to?
And sometimes, none of this happens. My tango soundtrack is on.. I am in tune, I am beautiful, I am alive and all is quiet and lovely.
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